If your fitness instructor sends the message that you must burn up that "ugly fat" or push beyond your physical ability in pursuit of "looking good," it’s time to find a new instructor. Recent research suggests that those obsessed with thinness at any cost are often attracted to the fitness industry. They end up transmitting their own twisted perceptions of body image to their clients.

There’s a fine line between healthy motivation and excessive, pushing for more by a fitness instructor. The old theory of "no pain, no gain,"can easily backfire when you’re already trying hard to keep up with your fitness plan. You should feel challenged by your workout and motivated to stick with it. If you start to dread the workout, chances are the demands are too much for your current abilities. Try choosing a different instructor or resolve to moderate during the workout so your body has time to adapt and get stronger. Adequate rest periods between exercise is also important to help you progress faster and stay with the program.

Your instructor should also help you understand your particular genetic limitations and steer you toward a realistic goal for your body. If you come from a long line of women who tend to carry weight through the hips in a kind of "saddlebag" effect, don’t expect to redistribute that weight or morph into a supermodel from your diet and fitness endeavors. However, you can expect to improve and feel good about your progress, within your body limitations.

According to Susan Blumenthal, the U.S. Assistant Surgeon General, a psychiatrist with expertise in eating disorders, "Getting regular physical activity is one of the most important things we can do for our health...but moderation is key...The main goal of your fitness program should be good health."

So, if you show up in fitness class and feel pressed by unrealistic goading from your instructor, take a walk! Try another class, schedule a few sessions with a personal trainer, or try a new type of cardio training. A fun way to mix it up and get some variety in your workout is to circuit train, alternating between treadmill, bike, elliptical trainer, stair trainer or rowing machine. You can also insert weight lifting between the cardio training, just be sure to keep the pace moving so your heart rate stays in the training range that is right for you.

Experiment with your fitness routine until you find the best match for your particular needs. With the right kind of help and realistic expectations, you really can work your way to your personal best.